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polyglotgal:

deutscheando:

culmaer:

languageoclock:

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deleriousfromcoffee:

languageoclock:

How to trick natives into thinking German is your first language - stop talking like a textbook

this guide is intended for learners who already have a good grasp of standard written and spoken German and are familiar with basic linguistic terminology

contractions/reductions*

*apostrophes (’) are shown for explanatory purposes, they are usually optional

in sentences with a conjugated modal verb and one infinitive, the infinitive can be omitted if its meaning can be assumed by the relationship between the subject(s) and object(s)
Sie will ein Glas Milch haben. > Sie will ein Glas Milch.
Kann er Deutsch sprechen? > Kann er Deutsch?
Wir wollen nach Deutschland reisen. > Wir wollen nach Deutschland.
Ich will zu dir gehen. > Ich will zu dir.
Das Kind muss ins Bett gehen. > Das Kind muss ins Bett.
Das darf ich nicht machen. > Das darf ich nicht.

the verb infinitive ending -en can become -’n
gehen > geh’n
sehen > seh’n
wollen > woll’n
lecken > leck’n

-e can be removed from the end of conjugated verbs
habe > hab’
hätte > hätt’
trage > trag’
wäre > wär’

es can be reduced to -’s on the end of the preceding word
du es > du’s
ich es > ich’s
los geht es > los geht’s
was gibt es? > was gibt’s?

the ei- is lost from the beginning of the indefinite article
ein > ’n
eine > ’ne
einen > ’nen
einem > ’nem
einer > ’ner
irgendeine > irgend’ne
etc.

if du proceeds its conjugated verb, it can be reduced to -e on the end of the preceding verb
bist du > biste
hast du > haste
kannst du > kannste
warst du > warste

unofficial prepositional contractions
(ein/den/einen becomes -’n, dem becomes -’m, das becomes -’s)
auf dem > auf’m
durch das > durch’s
für das > für’s
für ein/den/einen > für’n
hinter dem > hinter’m
mit dem > mit’m (> mim)
unter das > unter’s
etc.

reduction of prepositional compounds
(dar- becomes dr- and her- becomes r-)
darin > drin
darauf > drauf
heraus > raus
herein > rein
etc.

in questions with a second or third person singular conjugated verb, “denn” can be moved to directly proceed the verb, where it is reduced to -’n, causing the t sound to be reduced to a glottal stop when pronounced
was ist das denn? > was is(t)’n das?
wie heißt du denn? > wie heißt’n du?

it is common to see more than one of the above contractions/reductions used together
das wäre es > das wär’s
ich habe es > ich hab’s

some other words that can be reduced/contracted
andere > andre
besondere > besondre
gerade > grade > grad
irgendetwas > irgendwas/etwas > was
irgendwelche > welche
ist > is’
ist so > isso
nicht > nich (north) or net/nit (south)
nichts > nix
mal > ma
schonmal > schoma
so ist es > so isses

other

corresponding relative pronouns instead of third person pronouns
sie > die, ihr > der
er > der, ihn > den, ihm > dem
sie > die, ihnen > denen

instead of “ja”
jap
jepp
jo
joa
ju
jupp

instead of “nein”
nee/ne
nöö/nö

instead of “oder?” at the end of a sentence to make it a question
ne? (north)
gell? (south)
nicht wahr?
stimmt’s?

make sure you know how to use these words, they will help make you sound less sharp and robotic
aber
auch
bloß
doch
eben
eh
einmal
erst
etwa
gerade
halt
ja
mal
na
naja
nun
nur
ohnehin
schon
sowieso
vielleicht
wohl

fillers/expressions of surprise
ach/achso - aha/I see/oh okay
Alter/Digga/Mann - dude/man/bro/mate
ah/äh/eh/oh - ah/oh
ahm/ähm/ehm/öhm - um/erm
au/aua/autsch - ow/ouch
bäh/igitt/pfui - ew/ugh/yuck
boah - wow
ey - hey/jeez
hä? - huh?
oha - wow
(oh mein) Gott - (oh my) god
was zur Hölle/was zum Teufel - what the hell/what the fuck

texting/informal online usage

abbreviations
bis bald > bb
bis dann > bd
bisschen/bisserl/bissle > bissn/bissl
eigentlich > eig
einfach > einf
(gute) Nacht > (g)n8
hab dich (ganz doll) lieb > hd(gd)l
ich dich auch > ida
ich liebe dich > ild
irgendwie > iwie, irgendwann > iwann, irgendwo > iwo, etc.
jetzt > jz
keine Ahnung > ka
kein Bock > kb
kein Plan/Problem > kp
kein Ding > kd
vielleicht > vllt
was machst (du so)? > wm(ds)

laughing
haha - normal laugh
hihi - giggle
hehe - cute/evil/annoying laugh
höhö/hühü - cute/annoying/sarcastic/satirical/stupid laugh

use this emoji 🙈 (monkey covering eyes with hands) if
you are nervous/embarrassed to say something
you are talking to or about your crush/boyfriend/girlfriend/etc.
something is cute/adorable
someone has given you a compliment

pronunciation^

^these apply to the spoken language, written examples are only given for explanatory purposes

-en, -em and -el become syllabic n m and l respectively
heißen > heißn
diesem > diesm
Vogel > Vogl

short i can sound like an unstressed ü or like it has been omitted altogether
schwimmen > schwümmn
sind > sünt
ich habe es > chaps

the combinations ls and ns can sound like there is a t before the s
als > alts
ich will es > chwüllts
eins > eints
übrigens > übrigents

d and t before -en are pronounced as a glottal stop with the lips apart and the tip of the tongue touching just behind the top front teeth
braten > bra'n
retten > re'n
Duden > Du’n
finden > fin'n

g and k before -en are pronounced as a glottal stop with the lips apart and the back/middle of the tongue touching the roof of the mouth, the en is pronounced as syllabic ng because of the tongue position
packen > pa'ng
zocken > zo'ng
Magen > Ma'ng
Flaggen > Fla'ng

b and p before -en are pronounced as a glottal stop with the lips together, the en is pronounced as syllabic m because the lips are together
Waschlappen > Waschla’m
Krabben > Kra’m
mobben > mo’m
klappen > kla’m
in the case of haben, the glottal stop is sometimes omitted altogether
haben > ha’m > ham

▶ FAQ
▶ more German resources

This is true.

may be a basic help but it doesn´t work with all regions or dialects. E.g. I´m from the west of Germany and I have NEVER heard someone pronounce Waschlappen as “Waschla´m”. 

du bemerkst es wahrscheinlich nicht weil du muttersprachlerin bist aber wenn das pp nicht deutlich ausgesprochen wird (beispiel) dann hört sich das n eigentlich an wie ein m da die lippen geschlossen sind

Ah yes, assimilation.. I’ve actually noticed a voicing distinction re. the glottal stop (but perhaps that was only my German tutor) :
▪ klappen : /klapən/ → [klaʔm̩]
▪ schreiben : /ʃʁaɪ̯bən/ → [ʃʁaɪ̯bm̩]
▪ braten : /bʀa:tən/ → [bʀa:ʔn̩]
▪ finden : /fɪndən/ → [fɪndn̩]
▪ packen : /pakən/ → [paʔŋ̍]
▪ sagen : /za:gən/ → [za:gŋ̍]
▪ machen : /ma.xən/ → [maxŋ̍]

notice how /n/ assimilates to the preceding consonant in German. What I find réálly fascinating is that English does the exact opposite: /n/ assimilates with the following consonant (even across word boundaries) !

For example:
▪ ten pounds : /tɛn paʊ̯ndz/ → [tɛm‿paʊ̯ndz]
▪ unbiased :  /ʌnbaɪ̯əsd/ → [ʌmbaɪ̯əsd]
▪ under :  /ʌndəʴ/ → [ʌndəʴ]
▪ in case : /in keɪ̯s/ → [iŋ‿keɪ̯s]
▪ engrave : /engreɪ̯v/ → [eŋgreɪ̯v]

man, I love this feature :Þ

/n/ can assimilate to the following consonant in German, too! See, for example:

<fünf> - /fʏnf/ → [fʏnf] → [fʏmf] (colloquially)

Cases of both progressive and regressive assimilation are found in German :)

german!

(via polyglotgal)

Source: languageoclock

feministpinkroses:

the-freckled-feminist:

writingjenna:

hermionxjean:

56blogsstillcrazy:

Black women something amazing 

Okay, but what professor was such an asshole that they wouldn’t let a woman in labor do a makeup exam? You know someone said some shit and she felt like she HAD to do that exam, labor or no.

OK true story from one of my professors:

She got pregnant while getting her PhD. Not planned, but it would work out that she would do her lit review (where she had a massive list of books she had to spend two hours talking about) a month before her baby was due. Plenty of time, right?

Well, her daughter came a month early. On the day that she scheduled her lit review. So she’s in labor with a baby that’s four weeks early, she calls up her male professors that are going to be doing her lit review, and they say that squeezing a human being out of your vagina isn’t a good enough reason to cancel. She can’t reschedule, they’ll just fail her. And my professor will have none of that. They agree to have the lit review at the hospital, but they kick out all nurses and doctors because you can’t have anyone else in the room. (like the nurses are really going to be secret undercover English professors who will whisper to her answers about Virginia Woolf). So for two hours while my professor was in labor, these male professors are hounding her about early 20th century British literature and the nurses are just about losing it and as soon as it’s finish they rush back in to make sure everything is okay. And the best part of it is that my professor was so focused, so determined to pass and not let her 5 years of work end in a failure, that she says she didn’t feel any pain for those two hours. WHILE IN LABOR.

Fucking men. Seriously.

One of the women I worked with literally did what the woman in the photo is doing.

(via tahthetrickster)

Source: 56blogsstillcrazy

I was given a task to find somewhere examples of allusions with some special cultural flavour

Hasn’t found a shit so created it by myself

‘Alice, as a feminist, how’d you react on some guy trying to pick on you on the street?’
‘I’d give him a Judy’

I just want to know where my brain gets such a crap from

mashainsync:

Саркастичные редакторы — это прекрасно. 

Уильям Хакетт-Джонс, преподаватель Высшей школы перевода и управляющий директор бюро «Eclectic Translations», комментирует наши попытки переводить на английский.

(Otsebyatino, as a friend of mine suggested, must be a quaint village not far from Moscow.)

well here came this sweet hour when me and my bro decided it is probably a bit tumblry story
first of all i should mention i’m actually a character from my faculty’s fable like you know when ur name somehow turns into an adjective and the reason of that is that i’m such a freaking patriot of this bloody hell of the linguistics pervertions
so our dean was a woman about 70yo that i absolutely adored and worshipped like a dean well oh that kind of Dumbledore all right you love us so much a love you too bae
since she’s turned 70 she had to leave and our faculty got a new dean a woman in her late fifties AND I WAS PISSED OFF AS FUCK you kno because ARE YOU NUTS WOMAN WHAT R U DOING IN HERE HOW DARE YOU STAND WHERE SHE STOOD and U R NOT GONNA TAKE HER OFFI…ah bitch
so being a slythendor slut (crafty but courageous) ive begun my lil revenge like those tiny smirks and giggles and shit about the new dean amongst the students and stuff THAT naive lil lamb i were deserves a Darwin well i never let a thought survive that she leaves that without any comment or notice but the bloody crap this duckin bitch brought upon me exceeds any rationality
shes got my web-project works from my supervisor and called me in her office one day anD YES I WENT THERE LIKE ALRIGHT BITCH YOU WANNA SEE ME IN DA FACE OKAY LETS FIGHT A FIGHT and she like nothing ever happened as if she never heard me calling her names or some shit and this unbelievable bitch starts working with me on some shitty interesting projects and im pretty into them but then suddenly WAIT HAVENT I LATELY PRODUCED SO MUCH HATRED TOWARDS YOU THAT IT CAN BE A HUMANITARY AID FOR THOSE TOO HAPPY COUNTRIES
and shes like working with me and doing some academical shit with me and at the end of the second year of our work i understand that some creepy fuck is happening while shes being TOO OBVIOUSLY FRIENDLY TO ME HUH BITCH WANTED TO GREASE ME PALM NAH YOU WONT 
and then i defended her name in the students duscussion for the first time
later i suggested her to be a reviewer of my graduate work well you see its absolutely her cup of tea and topic and everything
when i chose a special dress I NEVER WEAR DRESSES for my finals and diploma defence i wASNT ALARMED BITCHES
now im waiting impatiently for the personal organizer with the manuscript of Claude Monet on the cover to appear finally in the online shop because its not much time left till shes back from her vacation and i have to get it before she comes back and to present it to her because ive learnt occasionally that she loves impressionism you know
now im a bit confused whether i can put on her favourite dress of mine when im going to her office to present it or it works naked well enough

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